I have been doing some pretty sweet restructuring of my priorities over the past seven months or so. All of it has been rooted in some much needed inner work. I realized that it was so ingrained in me to take responsibility for myself that it was keeping me from also taking care of myself as well. I was also in this really foolish habit of taking responsibility for other people's feelings so much more than I should have; to the point of accepting other people's blame for their issues. It is true that you really do show people how to treat you. I thought that understanding that their problems had nothing to do with me and having compassion for them meant that I was being a good friend. I was so wrong. Let me explain...
I can't stress enough how much I have learned about people every time we have moved to a different state or town. While I have felt like I have started over each time we have moved, the reality is that I truly didn't. I accepted whoever came into my life and that wasn't always a healthy thing for me. My biggest priority switch has been to look really closely at what compromises I have been making when it comes to letting too many people in my life that lack integrity. I realized that just ONE of those in my life is too many!! When that value is really important to you, it's disrespectful to yourself to ignore it. I decided that those people had to go. While I appreciated their inner goodness, their potential for being really super wonderful people and had some fun experiences with them, I saw that they were living outright lies that weren't ok with me. Not so ironically, when I tried to lovingly release these people their lack of integrity reared it's nasty head worse than I had ever seen. (I really didn't need the reminder of why I was making the right decision!!)
To be a good friend to someone else, you have to be a good friend to yourself first. For me, this means that I cannot hang with people who don't care if they lie, cheat, steal or mislead others for their own financial or emotional gain. I am well aware that there are people who are saying like attracts like. My answer to that is that I believe that there are people out there who pretend to be like you so they can use you. Those people are your biggest teachers and reflect back to you what you need to learn. To let them stay is not necessary though. Face it, release them as kindly as you can, wish them well and learn from it. The people who I have had in my life the longest are my measure of how I'm doing. All of them are consistently wonderful.
I came across this blog share today that I wanted to pass on to all of you. I agree with so many of the quotes on it and many of them have been incredibly relevant for me lately! This is from Mark and Angel Hack Life and is called "60 Quotes That Will Change The Way You Think". To continue reading, click on the link at the bottom. Enjoy!
"In your quiet moments, what do you think about? How far you’ve come, or how far you have to go? Your strengths, or your weaknesses? The best that might happen, or the worst that might come to be? In your quiet moments, pay attention to your thoughts. Because maybe, just maybe, the only thing that needs to shift in order for you to experience more happiness, more love, and more vitality, is your way of thinking.
Here are 60 thought-provoking quotes gathered from our sister site, Everyday Life Lessons, and from our blog archive that will help you adjust your way of thinking."
As a Parent Coach and Mentor, my passion lies in empowering parents to make the best decisions they can for their children and their families as a whole. As a well-trained coach, I can be your facilitator and accountability partner for long-lasting, meaningful change that has a permanent, positive impact for your family. By focusing on the values that you hold most important in your life, I can help you create and maintain the type of parenting relationship you want to have with your children, now and into their adulthood.
I am a homeschooling mom of four children in Massachusetts. I am also the author of a book called The Herbal Beverage Book, which can be found on amazon. When not coaching, writing or spending time with the family, I enjoy Hayao Miyazaki films, new and classic Dr. Who episodes, anything related to American history and a great glass of mead.
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This blog is a collection of thoughts, articles and perspectives I have at any one time. While I am pretty consistent in my beliefs, life changes and evolves along with experiences. You may feel a connection with me through my writing yet I never want any of my readers to misunderstand that the connection you feel is with a perspective I have shared and not me as a person. I am continually humbled that I am able to connect with my readers, and I hope to continue to be able to for many years to come, but it doesn't make us connected in any way beyond this. If you connect with what I write and know me as an acquaintance, this in no way reflects that I have any knowledge of you, your situation in life or that I am writing with you in mind. It is merely that I have shared a human experience that most likely very many others have had has well. This also goes for anything I post on my Twitter account, Facebook Page and Facebook personal page. I wanted to make this disclaimer as clear as possible so you know that any misunderstanding you choose to have is not my responsibility.