I have been feeling a bit stuck for the past several weeks. Thankfully, it seems that I have not only gotten to the bottom of it but I have done something about it. What my issue was will probably be as unexpected to you as it was to me.
Obviously I went through a bit of a personal challenge a couple of months ago. While I saw how much of a blessing it was, I still felt like I wasn’t moving forward as easily as I should have been. I had some new goals for my site and even a new project I wanted to work on along with an action plan of how I wanted to implement it. I have written several blogs that I have yet to post. I started implementing my I’m a Teen and I Homeschool feature. I even have a fantastic new idea about how to really help other homeschoolers on their journey. I also have a side business idea that I think would be fun. I felt like while I had all of these great ideas I was excited about, I felt like I just had to push through them and get them done.
People like to use the term “blocked” nowadays so I’ll go with that. I knew it was a block because I felt urgency! ...Yes, that’s what I said … URGENCY!! What’s wrong with that, you ask? Isn’t it good to keep moving and working toward your goals? Of course it is! The urgency came from feeling bothered by the fact that I didn't know why I felt like I had to push to do what I was also excited about. It made no sense to me so with the mentality of a marathon runner I was going to push through the wall! But was it working for me? Absolutely not! It felt awful! Counterproductive even!
I really wanted to figure out what this struggle was all about. Instead of getting upset or impatient with myself I stepped back and decided that I needed to take the point of view of an observer. I took an objective and non-controlling attitude to my own feelings, thoughts and behaviors. I just paid attention. I did the typical things like look at my diet, my relationships, my schedule, etc. and finally pinpointed my distractedness to my own thoughts. I realized I wasn’t thinking clearly and as I result I couldn’t focus for very long on any one thing. Talk about a rude awakening as to what those thoughts were about though!
I was noticing every thing in my immediate environment that irritated me. It wasn’t any one big thing. It was a gazillion little ones all wrapped up under the heading of clutter!!!! After a half of a day of paying super close attention to the fleeting thoughts that I had became a little too good at ignoring, I realized that the thoughts weren’t even thoughts anymore. They were little nagging feelings that I had been managing for so long that they were tiny, needling annoyances. Even though it was literally seconds of that feeling, it was enough to put a feeling of annoyance over me when coupled with all of the other momentary feelings about “things” when I was in other rooms of my house.
I was suffering from a clean, mostly organized house but all I had really managed to do was be good at organizing and storing the clutter for the six of us. I used to be really on top of cleaning stuff out but haven’t really done so since we moved into this house three years ago. It wasn’t long after we moved in that I started working on my book and it was hard enough balancing family while getting that done. Then last year was all about feeling like I had to make up for lost time and was a little too distracted by our social life. Now that all of that is in a much better, and healthier, perspective I can really hear myself better.
So I have been very busily going through our house, one room at a time and with the kids’ help, re-organizing and doing a major clean up. I have taken it a day at a time and a room at a time but I am already feeling clearer. I can now walk into my dining room (which is actually also our utility, game, science project room) and not think “We have way too many games in that china cabinet that the kids never play.”
Needless to say, the minivan was half full of donations this week. I am expecting that by Saturday I will have just as much to donate. I only start a donation box when I’m “feeling” it. (If you have kids or have stuff that you have some sort of emotional attachment to, you understand what I mean about that.) I have a ways to go before I’m at a place where I can manage it continually but the process has been mostly fun. Whenever I get stuck in this project I literally go into one of the rooms I have fully completed and appreciate how amazing it feels! That gives me the motivation to keep going! Besides, you know what my ultimate theme is, and always will be... setting a great example for my kids :-)
As a Parent Coach and Mentor, my passion lies in empowering parents to make the best decisions they can for their children and their families as a whole. As a well-trained coach, I can be your facilitator and accountability partner for long-lasting, meaningful change that has a permanent, positive impact for your family. By focusing on the values that you hold most important in your life, I can help you create and maintain the type of parenting relationship you want to have with your children, now and into their adulthood.
I am a homeschooling mom of four children in Massachusetts. I am also the author of a book called The Herbal Beverage Book, which can be found on amazon. When not coaching, writing or spending time with the family, I enjoy Hayao Miyazaki films, new and classic Dr. Who episodes, anything related to American history and a great glass of mead.
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This blog is a collection of thoughts, articles and perspectives I have at any one time. While I am pretty consistent in my beliefs, life changes and evolves along with experiences. You may feel a connection with me through my writing yet I never want any of my readers to misunderstand that the connection you feel is with a perspective I have shared and not me as a person. I am continually humbled that I am able to connect with my readers, and I hope to continue to be able to for many years to come, but it doesn't make us connected in any way beyond this. If you connect with what I write and know me as an acquaintance, this in no way reflects that I have any knowledge of you, your situation in life or that I am writing with you in mind. It is merely that I have shared a human experience that most likely very many others have had has well. This also goes for anything I post on my Twitter account, Facebook Page and Facebook personal page. I wanted to make this disclaimer as clear as possible so you know that any misunderstanding you choose to have is not my responsibility.