Since my No Guru Zone has been so popular I wanted to take it a step further and go a little deeper into the whole “expert” idea. I find that experts tend to fall into three categories: the self-proclaimed experts, the theoretical experts and the living experts. And sometimes those categories do overlap and people will be a combination of them.
The self-proclaimed experts are the ones who design their own marketing plan by going as far as describing themselves as expert, pioneer, trailblazer, etc. In reality, they have no expertise except about selling you something and they tend to be really good at it! They may be selling goods, services, or selling how worthy they are of attention. These are the ones that sell you a myth and can even go as far as lying. They also can take other people’s works, repackage them and present the illusion that it’s as a new idea of their own without ever putting it into practice; although they claim they do. The lie quickly becomes obvious because they can only offer you generalities and have no substance. They sell you the dreams of ideals that are supposed to set you free. The problem is, they are found out as soon as someone tries to follow their advice and it backfires leaving them worse off than they were to begin with. The “experts” in this category pretend to live what they sell but the reality is that they don’t. Their ultimate goal is not to help anyone but themselves. If they do help someone, it's because the listener was aware enough to make interpretations they needed for themselves that helped them make a different decision than they normally would.
The second category, theoretical experts, usually have a much more pure agenda. They are the ones who spend a great deal of time studying a subject so they can turn around and tell you all about their acquired knowledge. These are the academics and academic minded-people that do a great job repackaging information they have gathered and who try to be careful about their sources. They are able to take all of the knowledge they have researched and present it to you in understandable form. The problem here is that they can’t tell you how to apply it in any real world way because they haven’t lived it themselves. They can only tell you about about how others have done it.
The third category is the “living experts”. They are the ones who have lived what they talk about. They have “been there, done that” and are usually pretty open about the mistakes they have made and lessons they have learned. They can give you the how and the why about whether or not certain things have worked for them based on their own experiences. The best of this category can do this without any attachment to, or judgment of, what you do with that information. Because of their real experiences, they tend to not see themselves as “experts”.
I could probably overthink all of this and get into the minutia of breaking them down into subcategories, but for simplicity’s sake, I like my three. That said, I believe you can learn something from all of them. The best advice I have ever heard, and often repeat, is to take what resonates with you and throw out the rest. With all of this in mind, I try pretty hard to live up to the ideals of the third.
What’s most important to remember though is that in order to empower yourself, you need to become your own expert. No one knows you or, in the case of parenting, your kids, better than you! My next blog will cover first steps of coming into your own power!
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As a Parent Coach and Mentor, my passion lies in empowering parents to make the best decisions they can for their children and their families as a whole. As a well-trained coach, I can be your facilitator and accountability partner for long-lasting, meaningful change that has a permanent, positive impact for your family. By focusing on the values that you hold most important in your life, I can help you create and maintain the type of parenting relationship you want to have with your children, now and into their adulthood.
I am a homeschooling mom of four children in Massachusetts. I am also the author of a book called The Herbal Beverage Book, which can be found on amazon. When not coaching, writing or spending time with the family, I enjoy Hayao Miyazaki films, new and classic Dr. Who episodes, anything related to American history and a great glass of mead.
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This blog is a collection of thoughts, articles and perspectives I have at any one time. While I am pretty consistent in my beliefs, life changes and evolves along with experiences. You may feel a connection with me through my writing yet I never want any of my readers to misunderstand that the connection you feel is with a perspective I have shared and not me as a person. I am continually humbled that I am able to connect with my readers, and I hope to continue to be able to for many years to come, but it doesn't make us connected in any way beyond this. If you connect with what I write and know me as an acquaintance, this in no way reflects that I have any knowledge of you, your situation in life or that I am writing with you in mind. It is merely that I have shared a human experience that most likely very many others have had has well. This also goes for anything I post on my Twitter account, Facebook Page and Facebook personal page. I wanted to make this disclaimer as clear as possible so you know that any misunderstanding you choose to have is not my responsibility.