To start out the new year, I thought it might be a great idea to tell you a little more about me and my parenting philosophy as well as put forth a mission statement of what I’d like to accomplish on the blog this year. I have had a recent influx of new subscribers over the past few months and my About Me is nowhere near long enough! There are most likely several things that you don't know about me that have a major influence over what I'd like to accomplish this year. Here is what you should know ...
When I began my parenting journey, over 13 years ago, I really felt like I didn’t know very much about being a parent since I had a very dysfunctional upbringing; and that is quite an understatement at that! From the time I was pregnant with our first I was able to see parenting in a very different light than even most of my friends at the time. Even though this could be very isolating at times, I knew I was doing what was right for me and my child. Right off the bat, I was a natural child-birthing, self-weaning, bed-sharing nursing momma... and the only one I knew! It wasn’t until my son was about 3 years old and read one of Dr. Sears’s books that I felt so relieved to discover I wasn’t alone in my choices. I remember actually thinking “Attachment parenting!?! So that’s what it called!” Since then I have had 3 more kids and the last two were born at home with trained midwives.
We also began our homeschool journey along the way and my kids have never been in a traditional school. I have gone through a lot of deschooling of myself over the past decade and have purchased many different curriculums; and many of those were started but never finished. (Thank you eBay for the opportunity to get some of my money back!) Admittedly, as a child I was an overachiever who loved school but I realized that the reasons for that was more about it being a refuge from home and not that I loved the schools themselves; although, I did somehow manage to keep my love of learning but again that was most likely my own form of escape at the time. If I were such a believer in the whole systemic, institutional approach to “learning”, I most likely wouldn’t have been able to see that by the time my first was born was turning 3, the whole thing is simply forced and backwards!
I have become a much more evolved parent than I ever imagined I could be, all the while learning that I do know best even when it was a trial by fire situation that tested my resolve; like when my well-meaning pediatrician tried to convince me that I need to use a crib or when a well-meaning relative felt like I was being abusive in not giving my children acetaminophen for a fever. And at other times when I looked at the entire picture of documented, scientific findings in my decision to not let the dentist put fluoride on the kids’ teeth nor let the doctor shoot the kids up with any more vaccinations.
All along the way I have learned more and more that parenting is not something you do to your kids. Parenting is about your relationship with them. You don’t train them! They are human beings with very individual needs, desires, personalities, and natural talents. I find that using a “method” of parenting on them is kind of funny on one hand, and completely controlling and useless on the other. I have also learned a lot about the extent of punishment I received as a child, aside from the obvious abusiveness that occurred, was also simply manipulative and had absolutely nothing to do with the “crime” so to speak. I have learned to trust natural consequences more, when appropriate of course. I have also chosen to not let some things to be left to natural consequences – like running across a parking lot, tooth brushing, eating healthy, getting the sleep each of them requires and fighting between siblings. Those may seem like common sense but I do not want to let any confusion linger about my style since I do know parents that may choose natural consequences for those things as well. Above all, I have learned that what I have been doing all along is trusting my intuition, even when I didn’t have the proof at the time that I was right, and continually developing it especially when it has come to my kids.
Now there is another part of who I am that I cannot leave out. Even though I had shared this aspect of myself on one of my first blogs, over a year ago, I have still been very guarded and a little unsure of how to proceed. I realize that in order for me to fully help others on their journey it is something I need to find a way to share. From as long as I could remember I have had intuitive, most people call it “psychic”, abilities. They became fine-tuned when I needed to use them as a way to survive a very tough childhood. It wasn’t until I was a parent that I truly realized the extent of my abilities. It was in having my own babies, that couldn’t speak, that I realized that I truly did “know” a lot more than a lot of people did. I believe that anyone can be an intuitive parent if they choose to be and all it takes is practice, focus and dedicated intention. My own intent is to merge my parenting experience and my abilities to help other parents take control of their own families and realize they have the power to have a peaceful, happy and complete home life. That is exactly why I have called this blog The Intuitive Parent.
As for my mission statement for the year, I hope to continually focus helping other parents trust themselves in making the right decisions when it comes to their own children, even when they feel like the world may be against them. I want to help parents find the courage to stand up for themselves in doing what is best for their family, no matter how other people are doing things. Most importantly, I want to make parents realize that how they feel influences their parenting more than they ever imagined, no matter what words come out of their mouth or whatever actions they choose to have.
As a Parent Coach and Mentor, my passion lies in empowering parents to make the best decisions they can for their children and their families as a whole. As a well-trained coach, I can be your facilitator and accountability partner for long-lasting, meaningful change that has a permanent, positive impact for your family. By focusing on the values that you hold most important in your life, I can help you create and maintain the type of parenting relationship you want to have with your children, now and into their adulthood.
I am a homeschooling mom of four children in Massachusetts. I am also the author of a book called The Herbal Beverage Book, which can be found on amazon or directly on my website. When not coaching, writing or spending time with the family, I enjoy Hayao Miyazaki films, new and classic Dr. Who episodes, anything related to American history and a great glass of mead.
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This blog is a collection of thoughts, articles and perspectives I have at any one time. While I am pretty consistent in my beliefs, life changes and evolves along with experiences. You may feel a connection with me through my writing yet I never want any of my readers to misunderstand that the connection you feel is with a perspective I have shared and not me as a person. I am continually humbled that I am able to connect with my readers, and I hope to continue to be able to for many years to come, but it doesn't make us connected in any way beyond this. If you connect with what I write and know me as an acquaintance, this in no way reflects that I have any knowledge of you, your situation in life or that I am writing with you in mind. It is merely that I have shared a human experience that most likely very many others have had has well. This also goes for anything I post on my Twitter account, Facebook Page and Facebook personal page. I wanted to make this disclaimer as clear as possible so you know that any misunderstanding you choose to have is not my responsibility.