As I shared with you in a previous blog, I also know what it's like to be bullied. I know how it feels to believe there is no light at the end of the tunnel. That no one cares. I know what it's like to feel the shame. I know what it's like to be so embarrassed about it that you don't want to talk about it to anyone. I know what it's like to feel that the only way out is to
I also know what it's like to hide what's going on. I know what it's like to pretend that everything is fine because you just want to feel better, even for a little while. I know what it's like to feel that no one can do anything about it. I know what it's like to believe that if you did tell someone, your life will get worse.
How do you know if one of your kids is at this point? If you already have a good relationship with your child, they may try to make sure they look fine to you on the surface because they don't want you to feel bad. If they are a teenager, they also want to feel more grown up and that they can handle it themselves. Chances are they already believe you can't do anything and that's why they haven't spoken to you about it. If you have a close connection with your child, you most likely already know something is up, but you don't know what it is.
Having been there myself, here are some suggestions on what to do to get your child to open up to you:
• Don't wait it out to see if it'll pass! If it is serious, there is no time to lose.
• Have a talk about bullying and share what you know you could do to stop it. Maybe you have your own story that they may be open to hearing about.
• Don't automatically assume the worst because it may not be something serious, but they are just too embarrassed to talk about it. Also realize that if something isn't right, and they aren't talking to you about it, they feel like whatever is bothering them is a big deal. Take it seriously!
• Spend more time with your child. Plan some fun time together immediately, and don't take no for an answer. The more you can do this, the quicker your child may open up to you. Phones are OFF LIMITS for both of you during these times! Your child needs undivided attention and zero interruptions.
• Be persistent but gentle. Just because your child hasn't opened up about what is bothering them, doesn't mean they won't. Keep at it!
• Get help! Enlist your friends, relatives and trusted professionals to help you.
As a Parent Coach and Mentor, my passion lies in empowering parents to make the best decisions they can for their children and their families as a whole. As a well-trained coach, I can be your facilitator and accountability partner for long-lasting, meaningful change that has a permanent, positive impact for your family. By focusing on the values that you hold most important in your life, I can help you create and maintain the type of parenting relationship you want to have with your children, now and into their adulthood.
I am a homeschooling mom of four children in Massachusetts. I am also the author of a book called The Herbal Beverage Book, which can be found on amazon or directly on my website. When not coaching, writing or spending time with the family, I enjoy Hayao Miyazaki films, new and classic Dr. Who episodes, anything related to American history and a great glass of mead.
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This blog is a collection of thoughts, articles and perspectives I have at any one time. While I am pretty consistent in my beliefs, life changes and evolves along with experiences. You may feel a connection with me through my writing yet I never want any of my readers to misunderstand that the connection you feel is with a perspective I have shared and not me as a person. I am continually humbled that I am able to connect with my readers, and I hope to continue to be able to for many years to come, but it doesn't make us connected in any way beyond this. If you connect with what I write and know me as an acquaintance, this in no way reflects that I have any knowledge of you, your situation in life or that I am writing with you in mind. It is merely that I have shared a human experience that most likely very many others have had has well. This also goes for anything I post on my Twitter account, Facebook Page and Facebook personal page. I wanted to make this disclaimer as clear as possible so you know that any misunderstanding you choose to have is not my responsibility.