I have really wanted to write about how to overcome the excuses that keep you from living your passion and doing things that you really want to do. However, I wasn’t about to post a blog about something I haven’t completely finished working on myself. To me, that would be presumptuous, controlling and hypocritical. How can I give anyone good guidance on something, even if I know the steps to take, unless I have taken all those steps myself? Instead of writing about it, I have been focusing on what my own excuses have been for not doing things I know I can do, but just haven’t done. I realized that the excuses weren’t holding up to my own scrutiny anymore. I also looked at them through my kids’ eyes and saw that I was setting a bad example! I can see how my Liberal Arts Living blog seemed to suggest that I already was living without excuses, but I knew that wasn’t completely true…
A couple of months ago, I started reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron due to a recommendation from Kerri Richardson. Not only did I notice the recommendation elsewhere, but I was also offered the title for trade at Swap.com. Once I start to see repeating patterns like that, I have learned that I should pay attention! I received the book and read a few chapters, hoping it would help me focus more on my writing. You’ll never guess what happened! Not only did my “writer” self decide to completely clam up, but it totally took a backseat to the artist that I had hidden away many years ago.
You see, a long time ago, I used to dance and sing! I don’t need to go into the history of why I stopped, I will leave that for the book I am contemplating, but I can say that I was still a child and was in an abusive situation where those passions were purposely squashed. You know how some kids get really into one thing and they are always doing it? Not just for a few months but they are into it for years? Well that was me with dancing and singing. Sadly, after certain events made me abandon those passions, I never went back.
Now years later, I am completely supporting my kids in their passions yet somehow feeling like a hypocrite. It was when I started reading The Artist’s Way that I realized I can’t sit back and tell my kids all the reasons I wasn’t allowed to stay on my path when I was a kid and also give them excuses for why I didn’t ever try to follow my passions once I was calling my own shots in life. I didn’t want to show them that it’s ok to make excuses not to do something they really have an inner urge to pursue. After all, I know that most of what you tell your kids will never override how they see you living your own life!
So here’s how I solved it… I contacted a very, very talented dance instructor I had gone to dance school with years ago to see if she could refer me to a local dance school. It turns out that she is friends with someone who has a school only 15 minutes from me! Not only did I sign the kids up, which was my original intention, but I signed up for a Jazz class for myself.
The next thing I needed to accomplish was much harder for me. I had become so afraid to sing in front of anyone that I didn’t think I ever would. I felt pretty ridiculous about it since I am married to a musician! It took me about a week or two of talking myself into it. I even mentioned it to a few friends that I knew would be supportive, that way I’d have the push I needed. I know that if I tell someone I am going to do something, I will never embarrass myself by not doing it. I only told friends who I felt like I could answer to safely; meaning I knew they would never judge me or discourage me if for some reason I changed my mind. And you know what, not only did I finally do it, but I did it on a PA system, microphone and all, with full support of my incredible husband. I have even survived a night or two where I just felt “off”, even saying the words “I suck” with tears in my eyes, and yet shook it off and got back up and did it again a few nights later.
So how does this all fit into being a more intuitive parent? Being an intuitive parent is a lot more than knowing your kids well and figuring out how to help your kids navigate through life while living true to who they are. That’s only half of it! The other half is being the living example of the type of life you want your kids to have. I can only keep focused on what that means for my family and hope that what I do not only benefits my own well-being, by each of my kid’s life paths as well. Above all, I want them to see that there is always a way to do something they want to do.
As a Parent Coach and Mentor, my passion lies in empowering parents to make the best decisions they can for their children and their families as a whole. As a well-trained coach, I can be your facilitator and accountability partner for long-lasting, meaningful change that has a permanent, positive impact for your family. By focusing on the values that you hold most important in your life, I can help you create and maintain the type of parenting relationship you want to have with your children, now and into their adulthood.
I am a homeschooling mom of four children in Massachusetts. I am also the author of a book called The Herbal Beverage Book, which can be found on amazon. When not coaching, writing or spending time with the family, I enjoy Hayao Miyazaki films, new and classic Dr. Who episodes, anything related to American history and a great glass of mead.
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This blog is a collection of thoughts, articles and perspectives I have at any one time. While I am pretty consistent in my beliefs, life changes and evolves along with experiences. You may feel a connection with me through my writing yet I never want any of my readers to misunderstand that the connection you feel is with a perspective I have shared and not me as a person. I am continually humbled that I am able to connect with my readers, and I hope to continue to be able to for many years to come, but it doesn't make us connected in any way beyond this. If you connect with what I write and know me as an acquaintance, this in no way reflects that I have any knowledge of you, your situation in life or that I am writing with you in mind. It is merely that I have shared a human experience that most likely very many others have had has well. This also goes for anything I post on my Twitter account, Facebook Page and Facebook personal page. I wanted to make this disclaimer as clear as possible so you know that any misunderstanding you choose to have is not my responsibility.